May is Allergy Awareness Month and a great time to learn about food allergies! SPEAK is featuring interviews with Singaporean families, caregivers and healthcare professionals for the month of May to help raise awareness about the challenges and triumphs these families go through.
Last week, Emma Goh shared how it’s like to parent two kids, one with multiple food allergies and one without.
This week, we speak with a pair of grandparents to learn their perspective on food allergies and caring for a little one who has multiple food allergies.
Mrs. Shelley Ee and Mr. Daniel Ee are grandparents to Noah Lee. 3-year old Noah is allergic to dairy, egg, cashew, and pistachio.
He has recently outgrown peanuts allergy. Noah’s grandparents describe him as an inquisitive, energetic, and fun-loving little boy!
How are you involved in Noah’s care?
We prepare and help him with his breakfast Monday through Friday, drop him off at his playschool by 9 am after he has brushed his teeth, washed his hands. We also pick him up after playschool at 5 pm and he stays with us at our home till his mother gets off from work. Sometimes he stays on for dinner. After playschool, we interact with him — play ball, bring him for a walk to the nearby church, he helps us to water the plants which he enjoys because he imagines like he is putting out the ‘fire’ as a fireman.
How did you feel when you heard about Noah’s food allergies being confirmed?
That was in 2018, possibly in June or July and we were in San Antonio, United States. Liz (Noah’s mum) had sent us the photos of his condition. We were worried and shocked that it was so bad. When we got back to Singapore, Shelley took the next flight to Melbourne to help the family.
We were shocked, very sad, felt so helpless because at that time we were in the US. We wanted to fly out quickly to help in any way since there was no family support for them.
We encouraged them to decide what would be best for Noah given the situation. Shelley was at a loss when she saw Noah crying, the parents with little sleep, and everyone feeling helpless at that point. Of course, we assured them that we would do as much as we could to support them in Singapore.
What is your favourite fun activity with your grandchild?
Reading stories to him, going to the playground, drawing pictures from imagination e.g. drawing cars, fruits, stick people, faces, etc.
Were you aware of food allergies before Noah’s diagnosis?
We have read about food allergies before Noah’s diagnosis, also our godson is allergic to wheat products and our nephew-in-law has to take gluten-free foods. Another nephew has a severe allergy to seafood. However, knowing about these allergies did not prepare us to manage Noah’s condition.
How did you learn about handling his food allergies?
We discussed it with his parents and read up online too. Initially, we were very anxious about harming our grandson unknowingly. However, we gained confidence over time. Now we are comfortable handling his allergies.
Noah eating his favourite food – Oh Mak Gua’s Kueh Lapis. (Photo: Mrs Liz Lee)
How do you support your family while raising an allergic grandchild? Did you have to make any lifestyle changes?
Yes, we definitely made lifestyle changes. Everyone in our house ensures that we do not bring out allergy-causing foods/snacks at home when he is visiting.
We switched to non-dairy spreads like Nuttelex instead of butter, non-dairy milk, egg-free, nut-free, and milk-free birthday cakes and snacks, making kuihs that he can eat e.g. ondeh ondeh, pizza, breads, banana cake etc.
In case we need to microwave peanuts, then I ensure that it is done many hours before Noah comes to visit. We also immediately keep all the windows open and air the place!
(Writer’s note: Allergies stay in the air for many hours and it’s a great idea to ventilate the place!)
Recently on Noah’s birthday, I thought of experimenting and made a colourful cake for him.
The cake was made entirely of fruits. I bought a huge watermelon, halved it, trimmed the rind of the watermelon, and then shaped it to look like a cake. Then for contrasting colours — I used blueberries and slices of mango, green apple, and orange. Finally I used toothpicks to secure the homegrown papaya onto the sides of the fruit cake. Noah loved the fruit cake!
Noah’s Toy Story-themed birthday party included a watermelon cake! (Photo: Mrs Liz Lee)
What are the biggest challenges for you when making these lifestyle changes?
We had to be mindful to read food labels when buying any food or snacks. Initially, we were worried that we would accidentally feed him or touch him after eating anything which could cause an allergic reaction.
I (Shelley) recall how we felt anxious and concerned when Noah had a reaction while eating naan. It did not cross our mind that it would trigger off a reaction because he was able to eat prata and dosai. Fortunately, our daughter noticed little bubbles appearing around his mouth. I googled what naan contained and found out they add yogurt to it. This incident brings home the message that we cannot take chances and that we need to check the labels and ask the shops about the ingredients in the dish before giving it to him.
What challenges is Noah facing?
True he is missing out on eggs, milk, cakes, etc and so to help him feel as normal as possible, we have biscuits, non-dairy, eggless cakes, almond/soy milk, beancurd, and local desserts available.
Has this experience changed your relationship with food?
It has not changed our relationship with food. We have however become more careful and mindful of others’ allergies and take them seriously.
We know grandparents typically love to spoil grandchildren with treats like fast food, sweets, and candy. With his allergies in mind, what’s your favourite way of indulging Noah?
We have not indulged him with food and if we want to buy him a snack, we are careful to read the labels and also check with his parents. We just want him to be able to interact happily with other children and adults.
What is your advice to other grandparents whose grandchild is recently diagnosed with allergies?
It is not too difficult to make these lifestyle changes. Make the child‘s wellness your top priority and with a positive mindset, it can be achieved.
